Let Haters Hate • Proof You’re Winning

Complaint One (about two months ago):
A woman I was coaching through leadership started skipping meetings like it was her side hustle. I called her out; politely, but directly. Instead of fixing it, she filed a formal complaint about me. That’s like your kid failing math and blaming the teacher for handing out tests. I didn’t care - I held her accountable anyway. She quit the group. Ghosted everyone. Vanished. POOF. Gone.
Complaint Two (six weeks ago):
A leadership member claimed I hadn’t been around in ten months. Ten. Months. Meanwhile, my calendar looked like a CVS receipt proving I’d been there at least eight times, speaking and supporting. When the director asked, I pulled out my notes and dates. The complaint evaporated like cheap perfume. Still, it left me thinking. Maybe the perception is that I’m not around enough. Not supportive enough. So I built a plan to be even more present and intentional, just to make sure no one felt unseen.
Complaint Three (five weeks ago):
This one was my favorite false complaints. A guy filed a complaint saying I made up an entire event without telling anyone. Just invented a whole thing out of thin air. Thankfully, leadership stepped in, pressed him on it, and he eventually admitted he flat-out fabricated the story. Translation ➝ he lied. Like, sir, if you’re going to come for me, at least bring something creative.
Complaint Four (four weeks ago):
One member complained because I acknowledged someone’s birthday at the start of a meeting with party hats and beads. His issue? He said it was “disruptive” to the business environment and “unprofessional.” Heaven forbid we mix in a little joy or celebration with our work.
Complaint Five:
(four weeks ago)
A prospective member didn’t like that I was “too direct” and said some things he found “inappropriate.” I didn’t curse him out, didn’t throw a shoe, nothing. I was just… blunt. Apparently bluntness is a crime now.
Complaint Six
(two days ago):
And finally, the pièce de résistance - someone blamed me for their entire group falling apart, and shutting down. The entire group. As if I was supposed to personally duct-tape the whole thing together while juggling everyone’s problems like a circus act. That’s projection if I’ve ever seen it, and honestly, it said more about their lack of leadership than anything I ever did.
By the sixth complaint, I was done. Tapped out. Exhausted. Even the strongest, confident warriors can crack a little when the hits keep coming. So when I hopped on a Zoom call yesterday, with my client and friend, Sarah, I told her why I was gloomy. I gave her the short version: “Six complaints in two months.” My face said it all; I felt beaten down.
Do you know what Sarah did? She started cheering. Full-blown cheering. I’m sitting there like, “Wait, did you not hear me? SIX complaints.”
Then she dropped the mic. She said, “Jo, that’s amazing. That means you’ve made it. People don’t hate on people who aren’t doing anything.”
I shrugged. Then she hit me with something even bigger. Sarah admitted that when she first met me, she didn’t like me.
Wait!
What?!
Sarah?! The client who now cheers me on? I almost spit my coffee across the screen. I had zero clue there was ever a time she didn’t like me.
So I asked, “Why?”
And she said, “Because you seemed too perfect. Too confident. Too strong. I wanted to be more like you, and I wasn’t. So I resented you. That was 100% a Me problem, not a You problem.”
That flipped everything for me. These complaints, these attacks - they weren’t about me at all. They were about the people making them. Just like Sarah once did, they were projecting their own insecurities.
It reminded me of my husband's favorite poem, written by Charles Mackay called
No Enemies.

“You have no enemies, you say? Alas, my friend, the boast is poor. He who has mingled in the fray of duty that the brave endure, must have made foes. If you have none, small is the work that you have done. You’ve hit no traitor on the hip. You’ve dashed no cup from perjured lip. You’ve never turned the wrong to right. You’ve been a coward in the fight.”
- Charles Mackay
And because that version can be a bit difficult to absorb, here’s my favorite modern translation:
"No Enemies?"
You say you’ve got no enemies?
Sorry, but that’s nothing to brag about.
If you’ve ever stepped into the real fight,
the grind, the duty, the hard calls,
you’ve definitely made some.
If no one’s pushed back against you,
then the impact you’ve made is small.
You haven’t exposed a traitor,
you haven’t called out a liar,
you haven’t stood up to injustice,
you haven’t flipped the script from wrong to right.
If everyone’s comfortable around you,
it’s because you’ve stayed safe on the sidelines.
And that’s not bravery - that’s hiding.
That poem hit me like a shot of espresso. If you’ve got no enemies, you’ve probably been too quiet. Too comfortable. Too safe.
And listen, ladies - if you’re building something worth building, you’re going to ruffle feathers. People will say you’re intimidating. They’ll call you “too much," or they'll say you're "not enough." They’ll whisper, complain, and sometimes make up straight-up lies.
Good. That means you’re in the fight.
One time, a consultant who was working on my team, told me I was “too intense.” I literally spit out my coffee laughing. Of course I’m intense! You don’t build empires whispering affirmations while sipping lukewarm tea. You build it by always finding a way forward, being consistent, being creative, and refusing to lower the bar.
So now, when complaints roll in, I'll see them differently ➝ Proof that my presence is big enough to be noticed. Proof that I’m moving the needle.
And the next time someone complains about you, PLEASE don’t let it derail you. Don’t spiral into negativity. Don’t shrink. Just…smile, pour yourself a glass of wine, and toast to the fact that you’re shaking things up.
Because as Sarah reminded me, they don’t hate you. They hate what they see in your success that they can’t see in themselves.
And that, my friend, is their problem, not yours.
Want to grab a coffee with me? Let’s do it. Because when we sit down, I’ll show you how to flip the complaints in your world into confirmation you’re on the right track.









